Wednesday, December 17, 2008


So, many of you who know me and have seen me since having the twins (in person or via photos) have probably noticed the additional chin, fat thigh chub-rub, sexy cankles, or a combination there of. Perhaps you've had the hankering to sing "fat girl in a little coat" in my presence. I know I have. About you. No, I'm kidding. Seriously though, I'm fat.
I have gone from a size 5 to an 11. An 11, kids. Seriously. It makes me want to travel back to my Sr. year in high school and bitch slap the taste out of my mouth for ever complaining about how "fat" I was. Dumb teenagers.
As much as I'd like to starve the unsexiness out of me, I'm breastfeeding and that means I actually have to eat. Just to make milk though. That's is not just for the benefit of survival anymore. I am, however, trying to eat healthier (i.e. things with little to no taste). Making the task even tougher is the absence of my thyroid. What kind of cruel joke was that? Let's take the one major part of the body that controls my metabolism so that it virtually doesn't even exist any more.
Anywho, now that we're settled and not so transient, I get to finally start working on myself. After the holidays of course. You know it's stupid to make that kind of commitment to go into effect before New Year's.

Knock Knock....

Who's there?


I'm finally back after a slow shuffle through hell and we're finally unpacking in our new home. Why, you might ask, was this an especially craptastic trip through the seventh circle? Let me tell you.

We left Arizona on October 31st. Not only did Darby miss Halloween but the twins missed it, too. Huge deal? Not really I suppose since Darby's still a bit too young to care and the twins have no idea what time of day it is let alone what holiday we're surpassing, but I still like to be uber mommy and get pictures and play dress up. We drove all day, ended up passing through Sedona and other particulary and supposedly beautiful parts of Arizona after sunset and had to forgo seeing the Grand Canyon because we left a day later than we had intended. We made it to Albuquerque that first night and began the first of 5 nights of unloading three kids, three dogs, 6 suitcases, a travel swing, a co-sleeper, various expensive items, a large cooler, a hitch & haul, a huge rubbermaid container of Brad's work equipment, and our Sirius into the hotel room only to be followed by virtually nothing in the way of sleep, a free breakfast I wouldn't wish on someone I hated, and then a reverse de ja vu experience from the unloading experience the night before. Brad drove with the dogs and I had the kids. Both sets of kids did remarkably well in the cars and Darby even helped feed the babies at times when they were ready to stop and we weren't near a convenient location. To liven things up even more, Darby decided he was finally ready to quit unleashing his bodily fluids all over himself and wanted to become potty trained. I'm happy to say that he barely had any accidents on that road trip and has since become so sufficient at using the potty, that he's not even wearing pull-ups to bed anymore. Now, if I could just get him to quit randomly dropping trou in the middle of whatever room we're in at home whenever he gets the urge to pee, that would be great.
Anywho, back to Sarah's Inferno. Stick with me here, there will be more jumping around I'm sure, but I guess that's what you get when I haven't written in almost 2 months.
To make a longer story short, we stopped to see my great grandma, Brad's grandma, my mother-in-law for a few days, and then my parents for a week before we decided that our realtor was an idiot and might be legally retarded. We were supposed to close on our house by mid November and as our week winded down at my mom and dad's, we realized we would have to play Plan B; a rental cottage on Lake Erie. It sounded cozy and come to find out, it was an abomination. We got to live in a 3 bedroom fisherman's lair until we finally got the seller's bank's approval on our offer. They were gracious enough to appreciate our circumstances and allowed us to move in the first weekend after the approval. But Sarah! you might be thinking. It's three bedrooms! It's on the lake! What kind of two bit princess bitch are you? Let me tell you, sweetheart. You try living in a fishing cabin where two of the rooms get no heat whatsoever so you're forced to push three twin beds together for you, your husband, and your three year old, while your twins are latched onto a side with their co-sleeper and your three dogs occasionally sneak up for a midnight spooning session for extra warmth for three weeks. The words inhumane and torture come to my mind. How about you?
So now here I am, in my new bedroom and at my old friend, just pounding keys and enjoying life. Our town is cute and wonderful, Brad loves his new station, we've found a great pre-school for Darby, and I might go back to work part time at the hospital since Brad's got a set schedule. Ahhh...the best of both worlds; no daycare and a chance for the patient contact I miss so much. Life is good.
On a different note, sometime after the new year, I will have a new blog up and running that I've been working on for quite some time. I'm not content just writing about family and wish to reach a wider audience and do some more with my blogging. I've gotten too many offers for reviews and opportunities through some different media and marketing agencies that it's almost a necesity if I want to continue to get things like this handed to me.
Anywho, thanks for stopping by. More soon. Enjoy your holidays and may all of you be blessed this Christmas.